Confessions and reflections that lead to insights

I have a problem. I can see your short comings clearer than I can see mine. God knows about my problem and he regularly confronts me with a picture of me that I had hoped not to see. In my eyes i am a good pastor, father, grandpa. Not perfect, mind you, but good enough that I don’t need to pay much attention to me.

God constantly reminds me to look in the mirror of His Word to see me not someone else, but it’s so easy to see someone else and miss me altogether. The message does get through eventually but soon enough I start looking at your problems again and not mine. If we are honest, we all struggle to a degree with this issue.

A friend of mine posted a brief video to social media today. He captioned it “I heard someone knocking on my window”. The video was a bird tapping at his window. The bird was attacking his own reflection. It was, for me, a picture of my spiritual blindness. I am that bird attacking my own reflection. What the bird saw was an enemy that needed to be confronted. A deeper look inside of me reveals enemies I need to confront: Pride, self pity, insecurity and loneliness.

We really don’t like what we see when we look in the mirror of God’s Word to see what is hiding deep inside of us. Stephen King could not author a story of a more horrifying character than the one we can see in our own lives as we look in the mirror of God’s Word. The Apostle Paul wrote about what he saw in himself in Romans chapter 7:24 “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?”

I don’t like what I see in me. The really sad thing is that if you know me you have likely seen it too. Thank you for offering me grace. Perhaps you see more good in me than bad and that is true because Jesus lives in me. But anything that is not Christ like should not be welcome in me. This is my confession based on reflections. God brings fresh insights as we get honest in our self appraisal. I see the bird pecking at his reflection. I see me clearer than ever before.

I am determined to finish this life strong. To deal a death blow to pride, self pity and insecurity. To make more room for lasting friendships and fellowship.

The road to self reflection that brings about change involves walking with God. We must open to the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Change is not for sissy’s. I want to take time to ask your forgiveness and patience with me as God is working in me and through me. I offer the same to you. God is so merciful and gracious. If you hear me tapping on your window it is not you I see it is me. God is working in me so He can be glorified through me. Cody Carnes expressed what I feel in this song.