THE ENDLESS PURSUIT OF "WHO AM I?"
“Oh, please, please...all I want is a cup of tea, weak but not too weak, and the teeniest weeniest bit of a really crisp toast.” You see? because what she wants is smaller and less costly than what has been set before her, she never recognizes as gluttony her determination to get what she wants, however troublesome it may be to others. At the very moment of indulging her appetite she believes that she is practicing temperance. ”
Hopelessly blind to the reality of who we are, desperate to belong, our heart reaches out in every direction to answer the question “Who am I?” Like the women in the quote above we have been deceived many times about our motives that result in actions. In most cases it was willful self-deception encouraged by small bands of people we have surrounded ourselves with who gladly agree, like and affirm what we want to believe about ourselves at the cost of the return favor. We live with them in a echo chamber that prevents our ideas, thoughts, motives from examination
“All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Proverbs 16:2”
It is sobering and troubling to realize we are often blind to who we are. To stop and wonder how often we have applauded our benevolence only to later discover we were serving our best interest first at the expense of the benevolent gesture. What we need is an unbiased appraisal. Someone who has access to all the information, the details of our life, our thoughts, hopes and dreams. Someone who is more interested in our holiness than our happiness. Someone who can’t be bought with compliments, gifts and remains unimpressed with our charm, talents, good looks, intellect. Someone who loves us unconditionally and has our best interest at heart.
“But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you.
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Good News! God has given us the Holy Spirit to help us know Him and better understand our motives and actions. The Holy Spirit also works in us to transform us into a new creation. Sin so damaged our image and distorted our purpose that we need to be “born again”. God does just that through the work of the Holy Spirit and our willful surrender. As we surrender our lives to God, He builds His Kingdom in us. The meaning of life, our purpose on earth and in eternity are discovered day by day and moment by moment in this new relationship. Morality and ethics can be practiced in our lives without being subject to cultural norms, natural desires or peer pressure. Our destiny is clear, our hope is present.
How much of your time is spent trying to understand who you are? Before you dismiss the question, take a close look at your daily actions on social media. Think about how often conversations about yourself with others are geared at determining if what you are doing, saying or thinking is normal or acceptable to others. What percentage of your time is consumed with trying to better understand where you fit in life and why? You will never discover who you are from the people around you. You will find yourself when you surrender your life to the one who loves you most and best!
Pastor Alan Kirkpatrick