How are things going in your marriage? Do you have people in your life you trust enough to ask you that question and that you feel comfortable enough to talk with them about it?  I hope you do. We all need help, encouragement and insight.

The title of this post is incorrect language but I used it in hopes of getting your attention. It worked! 

How do I mean incorrect language...simply stated: your happiness is your choice and it cannot be affected by outside forces. Happiness is a decision. We can be happy even when things around us are not going well. The point of this post however, is to help you evaluate, not if you are happy but if your marriage is healthy or headed toward a crises. 

As a pastor for over 30 years, I have had the privilege of working with hundreds of married couples looking for help to make their marriage work. Just to be upfront this post is going to include a shameless plug for our nine week Marriage class titled “Marriage on the Rock”. My wife Michele and I are co-teaching this class beginning January 4th at 7pm. The Class is FREE. Click on the link below to SIGNUP and purchase book. You will not need to purchase the workbook. 


Now that the commercial is over lets talk about marriage. Marriages that are in crises or moving toward crises levels face common problems. Identifying and correcting these problems takes work. The kind of work many couples are unwilling to do.


With two exceptions: Marriages with Chronic Infidelity or physical Abuse. Other than those two exceptions I believe every marriage is worth saving and can be healed and restored.




-Selfishness (by one or both)

-Emotional instability (inability or unwilling to control: anger, jealousy, depression, emotional out bursts of crying, fits, silent treatment.)

-Lack of Physical and Emotional Intimacy

-Dishonesty/trust issues

-Destructive habits: Addictions

-Lack of Communication skills: ability to resolve conflict or have intimate (into me see) communication.


Some marriages are heading toward crises because of one or more of these issues and the parties to the marriage are willfully blind to the looming crisis. A marriage crises’ rarely sneaks up on a couple, rather warning signs are ignored or excused. The six issues listed above are marriage destroyers. Given enough time unchecked or challenged, they will kill a marriage.


If one or more of these issues are present in your marriage it is TIME to deal a deathblow to them. If you do not they will deal a deathblow to your marriage. These issues create walls between couples. They lead to deep emotional wounds and bitterness. 

GOOD NEWS... God specializes in healing broken marriages. As a pastor I have witnessed His incredible work first hand. A great starting place for marriage healing is our "Marriage on the Rock" classes. Can you give your marriage nine weeks of intense work so that you can have a lifetime together? 

We believe in marriages and want to support them! God has great plans for you! With Him at the center your marriage can be more than you ever dreamed it would be.